Inability to sleep in

It's the weekend!

The kids decided to do us a favour and went to bed earlier yesterday. I went to bed past midnight after a long week (this is cummulative... and in fact have been a tiring period of a few months). But I naturally got out of bed at 8am and picked up where I left off for a couple of work tasks and household chores.

I miss my precious sleep.

A peek into the after work hours of a FTWM

Rushing home from work to see our two kids after a long day at work, and zoning out a little from a full day of meetings and reports, who would have thought a BMW Z4 would crash into the cab while we were stationary for awhile at the red light, giving me a huge shock!

I was in shock and could not think straight for awhile. I was glad I wasn't hurt and thoughts of 'what ifs' drifted into my head. Life is too short and we only live once, and I want to make this one as fulfilling as possible. 

Thoughts of stopping work to be a stay at home mum has never crossed my mind when we first had Aiden. I enjoyed being able to carve a career in an industry I am passionate in and I feel good achieving results at work. It helped a lot, having supportive parents who helped take care of the kids while we are at work and occupied with other commitments, and I can't ask for anything more.

Starting out PriviKids early 2013 and with Ava joining our family last November, the very little time we have at night and over the weekend has to be spread out even more, and I feel very guilty for not being able to spend quality time with her. With two kids come its set of challenges as I need to be sensitive to the feelings of the elder boy. It hit me when I was cuddling Ava and telling her how much I love her and Aiden asked me in a soft tone 'Do you love me too Mummy?' 'Of course I do! I love the both of you so much.' I told him and immediately I could feel that he felt better. Reminder to self: Be sensitive to the feelings of both kids. As tough as it may get, be fair.

Ava at 5 months old, her curious eyes and fast reflexes (stuffing into mouth)

A typical day for me looks like this (but I have long dismissed the idea of 'typical days' as I shared with Daddy Darren recently. Kids have their mood swings and we see a different side of our 3 year old toddler daily and sometimes within the same day):

7.00am to 8.00am:
Wake up to prepare for work
Wake Daddy Darren up to prepare for work
Wake Aiden up to prepare him for school
Leave our place to school and to work

9.00am to 6.00pm:
Work meetings, reports, emails
Events (sometimes after work events, so it would mean 6.00pm to 9.00pm)

8.00pm to 11.00pm:
Dinner at my parents' place
Playtime with Ava
Playtime with Aiden (he gets to dictate the top 3 things he would like to do when we get home and we get through these, followed by bedtime stories and off to slumberland. This often stretches to 12 midnight and this is when patience runs thin and he gets scolded when he's still actively awake.)

12.00am to 3.00am or 2.00am to 5.00am (if I dozed off earlier):
Follow up on to do list for PriviKids
Completing work that's outstanding for the day

I wished there were more hours in a day, and more time for catching up on precious sleep. More time for doing the things I enjoy doing. More time for Aiden. More time with Ava. More quality time with Daddy Darren.

Here's how I survive being a full time working mum, juggling the many different roles I play:

1) Celebrate little milestones

I celebrate the little achievements on a daily basis. Being able to get out of the house with no tears (from the boy) as we prepare him for school is an achievement itself. Arriving at home early enough before Ava's bed time so I get to snuggle close to her and see her toothless grin. Stepping out of the house in one piece and be on time for our appointments is also a challenge nowadays.

Her first smiles

2) Relax and go with the flow

Sometimes I can be quite controlling especially with Aiden. I realized that the beauty of letting him take the lead at times (with control of course), would be a happier toddler and that means lesser tantrums and melt downs and quality time spent together. I allow him to jump into the shower with me, snack at night, do art and craft near bed time - all so he would enjoy and go to bed contented. He also lets me have my way, reading books with him and lying down in bed as we fall asleep together.

You win some, you lose some

3) Strong family support

I would not be able to pursue my passions today if not for my parents and Daddy Darren. They take care of me and the kids in all ways possible and keep the kids happy while I am occupied at work. Picture updates in the family group chat never fails to put a smile and sometimes a tear to my eye when I know that I would rather be there instead of churning reports or being at a business meeting. The smile on their faces motivates me and drives me on.

4) Working through the wee hours of the night

Sleep is one sacrifice every parent makes whether you are a working or stay home mum. I am really lucky to have my parents' help in caring for the kids and Aiden and Ava are both not giving us sleepless nights. So why am I up at 3am? Deciding to spend a little more time reading to Aiden, a little more time playing with Ava, the only time left to complete outstanding tasks for our business and my work would be after the family goes to bed.

5) Delegate tasks

I am not good at keeping the household clean and the part time help we engage regularly really helps free up our time for the kids and our own interests. Some mums insist on doing the household chores themselves, but for me, I think any extra time with my loved ones and to grow the business is more essential to me.

I am amazed at how other FTWM manage their roles and there is so much to learn from one another. It is not an easy choice to make between staying at home and working and both choices come with their own set of sacrifices and rewards. I am happy at this stage, and in time to come, I would be sharing more about some changes taking place.

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Christy from Kids ‘R’ Simple on “A Peek into the After Work Hours of a FTWM“. Read about how 21 FTWMs from Singapore Mom Bloggers handle their kids and household everyday from 1 June to 21 June. The aim is to give other working mums motivation, ideas and support to deal with the everyday demands of juggling work and family while keeping sane. We will be happy to hear your story, tips and even an encouraging word will make our day! Share your thoughts in the comments!

Next up on the blog train is Jacqeline, a FTWM to 2 kids age 4 and 2.5. She is grateful that her current job gives her enough work-life balance so she can spend a few hours after work each day and the whole of weekend with her family. She blogs over at thelittlemom.com where she records the fun activities she has with the kids and her husband.

Interview with 3 year old Aiden

Inspired by what Ai has done with Lil' Pumpkin on her 5th birthday, I decided to interview Aiden with this set of 25 questions. The boy surprised me with some of his answers, mostly well thought out before he responded. It would be great fun sharing his responses with him when he's older and a really nice way to remember each stage of his growing up years. It is also really interesting to see his responses evolve as he grows up.

1) How old are you? 3 years old

2) What is your favourite toy? Cars

3) What is your favourite car brand? Audi, Mercedes, Volkswagen Golf, BMW and Mini Cooper!
(he couldn't decide on one)

4) What is your favourite food? Hotdog

5) What is your favourite drink? Chrysanthemum

6) What is your favourite colour? Green
(prompted by Daddy Darren)

7) What is your favourite TV show? Cars

8) What is your favourite cartoon? Mickey Mouse

9) What is your favourite song? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E MICKEY MOUSE!

10) What is your favourite place? Singapore!

11) What do you like to wear? Girl (clothes)
(We were quite surprised and amused to hear this. There were a few occasions he wore his clothes in a girl's style like his top as a skirt, his bottom as a tube top, and said it was fun when I asked him why he did that.)

12) What makes you sad? Daddy
(Why does Daddy make you sad? (Because he) scold me.)

13) What makes you cry? Ah-gong
(Why does Ah-gong make you cry? (Because he) shouts (at me).)

14) What makes you happy? Mummy
(Why does Mummy make you happy? She hugs me.)

15) What are you good at doing? Coloring and painting.

16) What are you not good at doing? Drawing

17) Who is your best friend? Daddy
(Why? Because he loves me.)

18) Which is your favourite animal? Tiger, lion

19) What makes you laugh, hahahah? Fire engine
(He was playing with Daddy Darren)

20) What are you afraid of? Fire, lizard

21) What do you like to do with Mummy and Daddy? Swimming

22) If you had one wish, what would it be? A birthday cake.
(You love to eat cake? Yes chocolate.)

23) What do you want to be when you grow up? Fireman!

24) Do you have a girlfriend? Yes, it's meimei.

It's interesting to note that Aiden is sad because Daddy scolds him but he also sees Daddy as his best friend because Daddy loves him. Happy to hear that and this short interview makes me feel how fast my little boy has grown, and can answer me in such a mature manner.

Ava is 5 months old

Before we had kids, and whenever anyone asked if I have a gender preference, I would say 'A boy, I really love boys.' True enough when I found out that I was expecting Aiden, I was delighted and it was really nice to have a(nother) boy loving you so much. There are activities that are more skewed towards boys and Aiden has Daddy Darren to turn to for that. For me, I enjoy spending alone time with him crafting, baking, reading and in the pool and I love the bond we develop as mother and son.

When I was expecting Ava, I was really happy that we are blessed with a girl after Aiden. Though I had some fears that I wouldn't bond so well with a baby girl, it just happens naturally. At 5 months now, she can interact much better with us and I can see how cheeky she is as she discovers her own reflection in the mirror, as she chews on everything including my knuckles and laughs when I squeal in pain. I look forward to returning home to her smiles and chuckles, and this special bond I have with her is somehow different from what I share with Aiden.

 

Spending a day exclusively with her, I almost can't bear leaving her at my mum's place. Her smiles when I make silly faces at her, the tense look on her face when I swing her up high and her contented face when I kiss her on her lips. Kids grow up too quickly and I don't want to miss out on being a big part of their growing up years.

Boys & Trains

Cars and trains are Aiden's favourite companions at home, on the road and he started requesting for these prints for his pyjamas too.  He would ask to play with his trains first thing he wakes up and right before he goes to bed.

I enjoy observing him putting the tracks together, sometimes struggling and I will encourage him to try again and take his time. He gets impatient at times and ask for help very quickly. Both Daddy Darren & I try to motivate him to give his best, before we guide him to achieve what he wants. He is much happier, and loves the sense of satisfaction when he manages to work on the tracks independently. I love seeing his eyes lit up when he completed a track route and have his trains run on them.

We recognize that it is important for us to teach him about giving his best shot before giving up on a task, so we don't step in immediately when he asks us for help, instead encouraging him and guiding him to complete the task.

Thanks to Daddy Darren, the boy gets to build creative, complex train routes and it is also a perfect bonding time for them. 

Inspecting Wilson before allowing him on the tracks.

What a smile on the captain's face.

Ready to go!

Up the track they go.

Overjoyed.

Let's load the cargo.

This is the way to do it.

Nice to see you Percy.

The boy's fast asleep after this complex track building with daddy.

Happy Mother's Day!

How are you celebrating Mother's Day?                  

For me, nothing beats spending quality time with the kids and engaging in new experiences & activities. Aiden & I participated in the Cake Jamming session at Little House of Dreams where we drew roses on a pretty rainbow cake. Here's where we have the cake and get to eat it too!

Enjoying his meringue kisses before the session.

New friend found, sharing their love for cars & cakes.

Pretty shop decor.

Look at my spinning cake.

Our first attempt together :)

Tadah! Our masterpiece.

My mother's day cake.

With their creations.

He couldn't resist.

The open session is on 10 & 11 May from 12pm - 7pm, and all other days in May are available too but you'll need to book 3 days in advance. Call to enquire at 62222972 or email hello@littlehouseofdreams.com.

Have a great day mummies! We all deserve it. 

Little House of Dreams is located at 6 Eu Tong Sen Street The Central #B1-27E Singapore 059817.

Welcoming shop front.

Petite cupcakes.

Family Portraits with Steph Tan Photography

With kids growing up so quickly and changing so much at each stage, we snap pictures of them at every opportunity we can. With either daddy or mummy behind the lens, it is often challenging to get a proper family shot.

We recently collaborated with Steph Tan Photography for a series of themed pictures, showcasing apparel from PriviKids. We also did a family photo shoot and here's a selection of my favourites.

 

Here are my favourites from the themed shoot

I was really impressed at how well Steph works with the kids, how she captures their priceless expressions and her creative set ups. If you are looking for a photography session for your kids or family, here's a special treat for you. Sign up for a Mini-Session on Sat, 10 May at the very attractive rate below. Do hurry as slots are limited.