5 things I will do differently in 2015

This year, for me is going to be a year of focusing on being present for the family and carving out more me-time for myself. 

Here are the 5 things I will be doing differently in 2015:

1) Understanding and speaking the love languages of Aiden, Ava and Daddy Darren

I have always wanted to learn more about the different love languages and how I can apply them in strengthening my relationship with my loved ones. I picked up these books, The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell M.D.and The Five Love Languages and I would highly recommend them for those of you who feel like you have problems communicating with your spouse or kids, and feel that no matter what you have done to express love, the other party does not seem to appreciate or reciprocate. 

Discovering the individual love language of Daddy Darren and the kids enable me to work towards filling their love tanks accordingly. And this helps leading to a stronger closer relationship with each of them. Very often, we carelessly hurt the feelings of one another unknowingly. This can be damaging for a parent-child relationship and I would want to avoid that.

I also want to work towards a closer, stronger relationship with Daddy Darren as our relationship influences and affects me and in turn, work and the kids.

I strive to be a loving, kind and fair parent to the kids and an understanding, supportive partner to Daddy Darren and I will work towards this.

2) Be totally present when playing and speaking with the kids, Daddy Darren and everyone else

With so many distractions especially with our smart phones, messages, emails, social media, it is sometimes challenging to just put aside the gadget and indulge in playing with the kids and listening to the other person you are out with. What happened to good old face to face time? I strive to revive this in the new year.

3) When reprimanding the kids, to do so in a kind and firm manner

Very often I raise my voice and belt out threats when there is a need to scold the kids. I may even lift my hand and threaten to hit them. I am confident that Aiden and Ava will get the message without me having to resort to screaming and hitting so I need to remind myself to speak in a firm and kind manner. Of course unless it is taken for granted or ineffective and I will have to be more creative in disciplining and teaching them the right behavior.

4) Work out, eat healthier and no more excuses

Year after year I would have this as my resolution until I stopped having new year resolutions. I need to get into a routine of including some exercise in my schedule.

I am happy I have started a routine of jogging regularly, and will definitely need to keep this going.

5) Connect with friends

With kids in my life, socializing and meeting with friends have taken a backseat. This year, I will make an effort to catch up at least once a month with close friends. Making plans ahead of time works, as well as impromptu invitations to dinner or coffee. Let me get my calendar and start making these dates happen.

This is part of a blog train hosted by Rachel of Catch 40 Winks. Find out what 33 other mum bloggers will be doing differently in 2015 and have a think about what you want to do differently this year too!

Next on the blog train is Agatha, aka "Agy" a mummy, a wife and an eco-designer. Besides making sure everyone is taken care of at home, she loves to sew and her specialty is in upcycling post-consumer textiles and wearable electronics. She shares her passion and tutorials on her blog, Green Issues by Agy, as well as at workshop.

One step, two step, baby steps.

When did your baby start walking?

Being mummy the second time, we are overall more relaxed with Ava. This also meant not being as disciplined in reading to her, going through flash cards with her and also seldom bringing her out.

As she is turning 15 month old in a week's time, I start to panic as she has yet to take her first independent step. She is also pointing more than trying to tell us what she wants verbally. Doesn't the second child usually start blabbering their first words and take their first steps earlier than the first child as they try to mimic their elder sibling? Aiden took his first steps around 13 month old.

I have since stepped up and read books as well as going through flash cards on shapes, colors and common things in the house with Ava.

On walking, I have brought her outdoors to use her walker which she likes and is gaining confidence in walking over a longer distance. On our strolls to the supermarket and to the playground, I encourage her to walk by holding on to her hands and she is making progress, treading on tip toes now.

Every child develops at their own pace. I need to keep calm and let her take her baby steps on her own.

No more babies Mummy!

'No more babies Mummy!' Aiden said to me recently in the shower,

'Can you don't born (give birth to) anymore babies Mummy?' Puzzled as to why he suddenly said this, I asked him and he said, 'With so many babies, they will sleep in my room, in ah-ma's place, all over the sofa and Daddy cannot sit on the sofa to watch TV and I will have to sleep with Daddy and Mummy as the babies would take up space in my room.' Interesting train of thoughts.

Credit: The Guardian

We were chatting about being the first child, middle child or youngest child of the family with my parents. I asked Aiden aloud, 'can mummy have any more babies?' 'Err... NO!' was his immediate reply.

He asked if I was the elder child or my brother and he guessed correctly that I am the elder one. He asked why isn't it the male firstborn and the female (me) second, as that is the birth order for Ava and himself and I explained that we cannot control these things. He was happy to be the firstborn as he has a competitive streak and always wants to be the first when it comes to racing to the lift, pressing the lift button and games like snakes and ladders. Good for him that he is the firstborn and he is totally pleased with it.

He was curious about who are my parents' parents and started asking, 'Who is your mummy and daddy, ah-ma?' My mum explained that her mum and dad are no longer around, that Aiden used to visit his great grandma when he was younger. He asked my dad the same thing, and my dad pointed to the altar (above the television), 'there they are!' Innocently, Aiden remarked, 'Huh? Your mummy and daddy are on tv? They look like teachers,' and this led to my mum and I rolling in laughter as Aiden said this with a straight face and started laughing as well.

When my parents shared that they both came from a big family with eight children, Aiden was really surprised and exclaimed, '8?! We have 2!' Then he asked about their birth ranking, my mum was seventh in the family and my dad was the second child (the first male), and he was very pleased to stress again that he is number one.

It was pretty interesting discovering more about how Aiden feels about having more siblings, family size and birth ranking. I am happy as well for Aiden to be older than Ava as I believe that the elder brother can protect his sister and guide her along (maybe more likely bossing her around) as they grow up. He also learns to be gentler with girls and hopefully a gentleman through interacting with Ava and me.

Sleeping arrangement for the kids

How do you plan the sleeping arrangement for your kids? Do you co-sleep in the same room, have separate beds in the same room or have them in their own bedrooms?

When we first had Aiden, we planned for his cot bed to be beside our bed in our bedroom. It is easier for us as first time parents, to respond to his needs and cries.

Aiden at 10 month old, pulling himself up for the first time.

I breastfed Aiden for twelve months, and what helped with this was co-sleeping with him. I was exhausted as he was still not sleeping through when he was a year old. I remember him as a bigger baby, and so carrying him in the night and walking around the house is really no walk in the park. It's amazing how babies are super sensitive and how they sometimes hate being put down to sleep on the bed. He wakes up almost immediately when his body touches the mattress, and we begin the rocking, singing and patting routine.

Aiden at 7 month old, naps are very much welcome.

With my parents helping with the kids, Aiden spends some nights over at their place and he usually sleeps on the bed with my mum. When he returns home, he co-sleeps with us on our bed. This continued until he was turning 3, and we had a makeover for his room, and got him a single bed with storage for his toys and a huge bed guard to put this mummy's worries at greater ease. On the first few nights he slept on his own bed in his own room, I rehearsed with him how he should get off his bed, come over to our room should he need us. We left a bed side light for him, and kept both his door and ours ajar. I woke up several times a night to check on him!

Aiden was doing well, sleeping in his own bedroom since then, until Ava's arrival. Many things take a turn and he grew to be more attached to us and returned to co-sleep with us. He wants to be close to us, to feel more secure with a new baby in the family. We ended up co-sleeping with both Aiden and Ava and it really deprived Daddy Darren and myself of good quality sleep. We also get body aches, having to adjust to the kids' ever- changing sleep positions through the night.
 
I started to prep talk Aiden as I set the stage for a new sleeping arrangement this new year. He loves the idea of sleeping on a double-decker bed with Ava when they are older. He saw this arrangement in books and always tells me that he will sleep at the higher deck and mei mei would sleep below when they are older. I sold him the idea of sleeping with Ava in his room and he was happy to try it out. With a few nights of prep talking, on the first day of the new year back at home, i confidently said, 'let's get to bed in Aiden's room', Aiden and Ava managed to settle to sleep side by side. We got the best of both worlds. Aiden and Ava bonding during bedtime and sleeping in their own room. Daddy Darren and I regained our spacious king size bed.

With the both of them amusing each other at bed time, sometimes it takes a longer time for them to fall asleep as they started laughing out at each other's antics.

Play time before bed time.

Aiden woke up in the middle of the night a few times with his blanket and soft toy in hand, climbed onto our bed and took his position right between us and fell asleep almost immediately. I was happy that he has outgrown the rock-sing-pat routine yet feels that he grows up too fast.

With this sleeping arrangement, our only worry was Ava waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing how to get to us. She hasn't started talking or walking as yet and I fear that she'd hurt herself, pushing open the doors to our room. Then it happened. At 4am yesterday morning, there was a loud bang and our bedroom door swung open. I usually jump out of bed this very moment, and there was Aiden appearing with his blanket and toy in hand, squeezing his way between us on our bed. We went back to sleep shortly after and then another loud bang! I was thinking 'Aiden? No! He just came to our room...' Jumping out of bed, and realized it was little Ava sitting in the doorway, and relieved to find mummy.

I was happy my little girl managed to find her way to our room independently, and that she was not in tears. Her diaper was full and after changing her, she refused to sleep on her mattress, clinging tightly as I rock-sing-pat her to sleep. I guess she might be frightened when no one came to her when she woke up earlier and dared not go to sleep on her own. Nevertheless I am pleasantly surprised and happy to know that she unlocked this stage without us guiding her at all.

The simple joy of uncovering a new milestone brought a smile to this mummy's face and led to this first post in the new year.

Happy New Year to all of you!

My drummer boy and girl in the morning.

Better parenting friendly practices at work = better parents?

According to a recent employment survey performed by the Ministry of Manpower, more firms in Singapore are providing flexible work arrangements and leave benefits to help their employees with family commitments. Employees are now expecting and are getting more benefits/arrangements to achieve better work-life balance and generally be happier at work.

While I do appreciate the growing flexibility and options when it comes to parenting-friendly practices, we do need to re-think some of the following parenting choices which are becoming more common.

Going on unpaid leave to accompany their child taking a major exam
Even if the exams are getting tougher or more competitive these days, it is the children who need to go through the exams themselves. Surely the values of self-discipline, self-confidence, independence and responsibility would better help the child tackle the trials of life in the future than having fantastic PSLE scores that are aided by overly concerned parents? How many successful people in life do we know had the best scores back in school?

Working from home to keep an eye on their naughty children
There are many reasons why a child would be naughty or exhibit undesirable behaviour. It could even be a phase that needs no intervention to resolve. I would think the long term solution would be to tackle the root of the problem, instead of circling around our kids and watching like a hawk? The last thing we want to see is our naughty children exhibiting rebellious behavior as a result of our 'good intentions'.

Going on unpaid leave to help a child studying abroad to get used to the new environment
This seems pretty counter-intuitive to me. Studying abroad is a great (and expensive) opportunity for a young, sheltered person to learn independence, stretch themselves and broaden their horizons. Being put in a foreign environment encourages our children to adapt and be excited about new people, experiences and places. However, being physically there takes away the impetus to adapt and explore. Save your money and get used to Skype/Facetime/Google Hangouts!

I'm not against parenting-friendly practices don't get me wrong! However, I do think that as parents, we should be with our children at the moments when we are truly needed and appreciated. For example, watching our children perform or compete, nursing them when they fall sick, spending quality time with them when it is not possible on weekends, or just being there to offer our uninterrupted emotional support when they go through a bad patch.

We now have better tools, but are we using them to become better parents?

Reviewed: Stuck on You Labels & Personalized Gifts

When the time came for us to prepare Aiden for play school two years back, we were overwhelmed. We had to prepare a whole list of personal belongings for him including his own water bottle, mug, toothbrush, milk bottle, milk powder dispenser and label them for easy identification in school. I happily shopped around for a bag for him before we received the list of items to bring for school, and needless to say, it was only big enough to contain half of his belongings! The labels we used were also the non fancy, black on white name labels and they faded over time through repeated washing of the bottles and mugs.
This was until we discovered Stuck on You and I was really impressed by the wide variety of prints, colors and they were not just pretty to look at, but also very durable (they stick and stay stuck in the dishwasher and microwave!). From kids labels to clothing label and personalized gifts like drink bottles and lunch bags, they make such ideal gifts especially for toddlers preparing for school and families with more than one child.

Everything looks so gorgeous, and the Stuck on Your team are always introducing new products and designs to keep customers returning again. The easy navigation throughout the website made purchasing online a breeze and the website gave me many inspirations on gifts for birthdays. The drawback? I had a really tough time deciding on the designs for Aiden and Ava, and spent way too much time than I should on the website.

After shortlisting my favourite items, I explained to Aiden what we were getting for him and his little sister, and roped him in deciding on the final designs, fonts, colors and icons for the labels. It was a fun session with him as the product previewer makes it easy to visualize.

For Aiden, we picked a Stuck on You Lunch Pack which includes a lunch box and a drink bottle, and Classic Small Name Labels to personalize his belongings for school.

Gift ideas under the Food & Drink category

Save money by selecting the Lunch Pack consisting Lunch Bag & Drink Bottle

First, select the color of the lunch box

Next, select the design. Aiden loves both the vehicle & animal designs

For the drink bottle, first select the design

Use the product previewer to see how your name looks on the bottle

For the name labels, select the colour, font and icon!

Aiden's final selection for his name labels

Tadah! These arrived under two weeks to our home.

The boy couldn't wait to go out with his lunch bag.

Unveiling what he's packed for our short trip out.

 

Putting the name labels to use :)

Couldn't take his eyes and hands off his personalized bottle

Refuel on the go for these mighty hot days.

The lunch box is perfect for short trips where we select his snacks to bring along together. We love the durable poly canvas material used for the lunch bag, and it is fully lined and cleaning is a breeze too, simply use a damp cloth to wipe and allow to air dry.

Aiden loves his new stainless steel BPA free drink bottle. It comes with a plastic spill proof cap but do remind your kid to press down the cap after drinking and for safety precaution, not to place the bottle upside down in the bag.

For Ava, we chose a Junior Backpack and Little Kids Labels Pack, which includes clothing labels and shoes labels perfect for when she starts school.

Select your preferred design, font & decide if you like it on the previewer

Select the design, font and icon, Totally spoiled for choice with the variety of designs.

The product previewer is a great tool for fun and easy browsing online.

After we were done with our selections, the secure payment gateway makes checking out a breeze. Delivery is made to your doorstep so it is a really convenient way to shop, a big plus point for time pressed mums.  

Love the pastel colors on the labels for Ava

In this Little Kids Label pack, it contains 30 Cool Kids Iron on Clothing Labels and 26 Cool Kids Name Labels and 4 Shoe Dots. This is a great value pack as the quality of the labels are made to last, ideal for day care. The iron on labels are permanent labels that are both washing machine and dryer safe, and the name labels are super sticky with a scratch proof resistant coating - no more missing belongings when the labels fade or fall off.

Ava's first outing with her lovely Juicy Apple Junior Backpack

A happy one :)

Getting her bottle out for a drink

The lovely designs on the Junior Backpacks are a collaboration with Penny Scallan Design. This backpack measures 25cm (width) by 27cm (height) by 11.5cm (depth) and is ideal for a short outing. We packed her milk bottles, diapers and a change of clothes and had spare space for a blanket & toy. It is made from durable poly canvas with a coated front panel for easy cleaning, a very important point for mums. The padded adjustable straps, and mesh side pocket is comvenient. One drawback of the bag is the zipper, with the closing near the base of the bag, your belongings may fall out as you open the bag.

We love how easy it is to personalize each of these products and labels with our kids' names and the previewer which shows us how they will look on the products. Ordering online to the time it is delivered to our doorstep takes about two weeks so shop away for the new school term!

For a limited period only, enter 'SGLAST20' upon checkout to enjoy 20% off your purchases, so hurry on now!

More about Stuck on You ®

Labels are how Stuck on You ® got started over 17 years ago and are still one of their most popular products. The range of name labels has now grown to include many designs, colours, fonts and optional icons that stick and stay stuck in the dishwasher and microwave. Clothing labels are hugely popular products at Stuck on You ® too. Offering Iron Clothing Labels and Stick On Clothing Labels these can also be personalised.

Personalised Kids Clothing at Stuck on You ® ranges from personalised pyjamas and t-shirts for kids as well as personalised clothing for babies such as jumpsuits and bibs.

The Stuck on You ® product previewer makes shopping online for name labels and personalised gifts easy and fun. Simply select your product from our huge collection then add the name into the preview screen and have fun choosing colours, designs and fonts to create completely personalised gifts and labels.

Website: http://www.stuckonyou.com.sg/http://www.stuckonyou.com.sg/

Disclaimer: This blog post is in collaboration with Stuck on You. All opinions are our own.

Safe Water Play For Babies & Toddlers

It's hot and humid weather for most of the days in Singapore. For some respite from the heat, we enjoy playing in the water with the kids whenever we get the chance to.

However, the harmful rays from the scorching sun had me thinking twice some days and I slather on sunblock on the kids before bringing them to the pool.

When we found out about Poolzies, pool shoes with anti-slip protection for those tiny toes, we were sold! Before we had pool shoes for Aiden and Ava, bringing them to the pool would have me worry about them slipping while playing at the water fountains. With the Poolzies Pool Shoes, I feel reassured that the kids can enjoy their favourite water play while being safe. They can walk, run, jump and swim with the pool shoes without any restraint to their movements.

Ready, steady, splash!

The Poolzies pool shoes are also durable, with a non slip and abrasion resistant sole. As such they prevent slips and falls while protecting your child's feet from hot surfaces. No more 'Mummy hot, hot! Carry me!' when they get out of the water. The fabric also has a UPF 50+ sun protection.

Nautical black stripes for Aiden & a splash of pink for Ava

Love the packaging they come in, ideal as gifts

Nice touch to the package we received - a thank you note

We find the fabric of the pool shoes soft and flexible, fitting snugly around your child's feet. It will leave a slight mark on those chubby feet but they closely mimics barefoot walking so it is maximum comfort and flexibility for your child. In fact, they are so light weight, Aiden wore them into the pool and back home.

Stylish pool shoes that will turn heads

Some tips on cleaning:
Hand wash or machine wash gently using cold water and a mild detergent and leave to hang dry. Do not soak them and keep them out of direct sunlight.

A wide variety of designs available in PriviKids, Changi City Point. $35 a pair.

Girls can never get enough of clothes, and the same goes for swim wear! Who doesn't like ruffles? We think ruffles on swim wear are absolutely too sweet to resist. Rufflebutts swimwear boosts of bikinis, one piece swimsuit all adorned with the sweetest ruffles. 

Be the belle of the pool, a hit at the beach with these adorable frilly styles.

Cross back style on this Aqua Lime Bursts swimwear

Waiting for the moment...

Making waves at the pool!

This Rufflebutts Aqua Lime Bursts one piece swimwear on Ava is covered front and back in playful aqua and lime color bursts on white. It is trimmed in a fun lime fabric, including a front ruffle at the neckline and across the back with three coordinating rows of green ruffles.

The fabric used is also sun and fade resistant and bottoms are fully lined.

Now, to get your little ones ready for the beach and water play, come by to PriviKids, Changi City Point #02-04 to pick out these new swimwear today.